Northwestern’s AD wrote a book of advice to young men trying to make their way in football, Chi Trib features it as a sign of what’s wrong at NU, where horrible hazing is reported.
Let us give that a look.
[[Link works as of 7/28. It's also at Yahoo. And dozens of other places, believe me. The story has taken off.] ]
Questionable, eh? Like this, from Chi Trib?
In his book, Gragg . . . calls women “man’s greatest distraction,” criticizes the portrayal of women in music videos as “booty-shaking sex-kittens,” and provides his take on serious crimes like rape and sexual assault.
Booty-shaking sex kittens is inaccurate? He made it up, there's no such phenomenon? Or: You dasn't mention such things in civilized society?
Gragg said in an email to the Tribune that he wrote the book as a reflection of his own experiences as a young Black man “fulfilling my dream” of playing Division I football.
It's a "black thang," as a Roosevelt Road hanger-on in the '60s said proudly of various styles and behaviors. The book's title, “40 Days of Direction: Life Lessons from the Talented Ten” refers to the "talented tenth" of American Negroes, a concept promoted by Black leaders W.E.B. Dubois and Booker T. Washington.
It's from some Ten members and arguably for any young male striver, not just Blacks.
The publisher:
The primary target audience is young males from junior high school through college along with their parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers and anyone is influential in their lives. This is a blueprint not only for the young men who seek to become college athletes, but for all young men who aspire to become successful no matter what path they take in life.
In two of 41 chapters, “Remember, She is Someone’s Daughter” and “Women: Our Greatest Distraction,” Gragg says what leads the Trib writer to draw a worrisome connection with the Northwestern scandal.
From the former:
“I know it can be difficult to be a gentleman at all times,” he writes. “We usually have only seconds to make some of the most important decisions that can ultimately change the way our lives turn out. I know it’s tough. The alcohol is flowing, she is feeling you and you are definitely feeling her. This is why it is critical for you to think with your brain and not your physical emotions or feelings during these times.”
Questionable? Not good advice?
As to "situations" that arise -- writer's quote marks by the way. Why?
“There have been many situations where athletes, fraternity members and other male students have found themselves caught up in very serious situations involving women, including sexual assault, violence and rape,” Gragg writes.
“Recently, several football and basketball student athletes at big-time programs have been accused of violent crimes against women such as rape and assault. They have been thrown off their teams and out of college and ultimately may end up in prison for many years.
Just imagine how much these athletes’ lives have changed in a few months, from running out of the locker room to the sound of thousands of fans, to the unthinkable life that prison may bring. I’m sure that they would do anything to change the circumstances and would not be anywhere close to the young ladies involved. But, unfortunately, life doesn’t happen like that.”
Questionable? Not good advice?
As for the "booties" business, Gragg "seems to evoke sexist tropes and problematic stereotypes."
Oh. Why didn't the writer say so in the first place. Good lede it would have been, or headline:
NU AD EVOKES TROPES. HIS STEREOTYPES ARE PROBLEMATIC!
As opposed to the plain old, clear-as-glass kind.
Ready for some problematic stereotypes? Brace yourself.
“I often feel sorry for those women, despite the fact that they are making a profit from selling out in front of thousands, even millions, of people who watch the shows each week,” he writes.
“There is nothing worse than seeing a beautiful, intelligent woman disrespect herself and those around her. All you have to do is turn on a hip-hop music video or one of the several awful reality television shows to see women degrading themselves shaking it for cameras and audiences.
"Music videos portray women as booty-shaking sex-kittens or materialistic gold-diggers. Many of those women simply do not seem to have a sense of self and who they really are or where they come from at all. However, regardless of what you see or hear, there are very good, upwardly mobile, smart women out there. You probably encounter them every day at school or in the community.”
Untoward observations?
Writer cuts him some slack.
Gragg goes on to tell readers to always be respectful “even when you encounter a female who seems to disrespect herself,” because “no matter how a woman may look on the outside, she is someone’s daughter.”
Good.
However, in “Women: Our Greatest Distraction,” writer:
. . . Gragg praises the positive women in his life, from his mother to his wife to his daughter, [but] goes on to write, “I love all the women in my life, but I have found that maintaining my relationships with them can be more than challenging.”
Uh-oh, problematic light goes on . ..
“Therefore, I do not think that I am overstating things or exaggerating when I say that a female is often a man’s greatest distraction,” that passage concludes.
We can only hope he knows what he's doing. In any case, he's up to something, and the writer is on the case.
Gragg continues to caution student athletes against being “players” and “collecting women,” in part due to dissonance between the sexes.
Cutting slack this time for the writer, who happens to be a woman (!), we have more philosophizing/strategizing by the AD:
“The first rule for guys to remember is that even though we may pretend to be all-knowing about the opposite sex, we really don’t know much about women at all,” he writes.
“Even Steve Harvey, famed comedian, television star and author who has written two popular books about male-female relationships, says he is no expert on women.
Quite honestly, I don’t think that any man is an actual expert on women. So give it up, men, you are NOT going to EVER figure out what makes a woman tick completely. You may come close at some point after several experiences and relationships, but you won’t figure them out while you’re 20 years old and probably not when you’re 30 or 40 either.”
Boldly, baldly stated. But what else is new? And then this, which probably got the writer's goat more than the rest:
He adds that “too many distractions can definitely affect your performance on the field or court, and not in a good way.”
Is that man asking for it, or not? He veers away before a complete pile-up:
“Again, I am definitely not being negative toward women,” he writes. “I’m just trying to give the guys reading this the guidance and at least a chance to choose to limit their distractions.”
Story has much more which is much more to the point about Gragg as AD and sitting in one of the places where the buck has stopped in this sordid mess, an ongoing story to which all should stay tuned.
It's stretching beyond the danger zone, however, to feature this book of his as a key to much of anything? Think about it.
You nailed it!