BLITHE SPIRIT March 27, 1996, affirmative-action surgeon for your next brain operation?

Plus Oak Park's flower-shop killings . . . Whodunit?

Hold that tiger . . .

Mr. and Mrs. Tiger named their son Lionel, perhaps in a fit of whimsy. He became an anthropologist, now at Rutgers U., from which he wrote "Trump the race card," a critique of race-based policy, in the Wall St. Journal (2/23/96). In it he quotes approvingly an ad by the National Cancer Institute which says selection of a director of clinical services will be based "solely on merit, with no discrimination for non-merit reasons such as race, color," etc.

"If you or a loved one has unfortunate need for clinical services in the cancer field, bear that ad in mind," Tiger comments. It's a variation on the question whether you want an affirmative-action surgeon for your next brain operation.

Tiger argues that race is "one of a new set of false categories" aimed at repairing harm done by racism. Faced with job-application forms asking your racial group, check "native American," he advises, unless you can say "Canadian," as he does, or some other reasonably accurate description.

We've gone tribal with our "exquisite" racial and ethnic distinctions, he says. A student of his, seeking employment, was asked for his "ethnic identity card." To that Tiger says, "Heil Hitler."

Stir up tribalism enough, he says, and you have "hysterical racism" such as that which animated recent arson and shooting at a white-rented shop in Harlem.

Tiger blew up at a poll-taker recently who asked him his race. "A preposterous" question, he says. (Watch what you ask an anthropologist.)

"The fundamental fact is that all human beings are from Africa," he says. The migrations from Africa began "about 150,000 years ago." What's happened since then are "marginal differences between races and ethnic groups," none of which warrant "convulsive politics . . . by political protagonists of formalized differences."

We all have them. I heard about "professional Irishmen" years ago from my father. Indeed, I was once asked for my vote on grounds of being Irish Catholic, like the asker. The foolish man recently won a judgeship; I only hope he's smarter now than then.

Leaves do (mostly) right . . .

Did you, as I, like what you read in the 3/20/96 Oak/Forest Leaves, in coverage of the 3/13 flower-shop killings and of the five-year-old Citizens Police Oversight Committee?

The killings story: Susan Montgomery was clear and detailed, giving rapid, full identification of victims (addresses, ages, relationships), time of crime, and description of shooter and of scene of the crime. She interviewed bystanders at length, obviously working hard on the story and laying it all out clearly. (WJ played catch-up ball the next week.)

The police-oversight story, about handling citizens' complaints: Allowing for rejoinders by interviewees (always a possibility), the story seems quite balanced and again depends on lots of interviewing -- of police chief, Fraternal Order of Police representative, village trustee, NAACP head.

This story profits from apparent detachment from who's right and who's wrong. From this stems its professionalism and fairness. Both stories reflect hard work.

In addition, the editorial, "Preserve what?" critiquing objections of a preservation group to downtown demolitions, is reasonable and forthright without being snide.

A question mark, however: The "ice queen" cover picture reminds me of Lewis Carroll's photos of prepubescent girls, published decades later and demonstrating that marvelous author to have been something of a voyeur. Technically admirable, the Leaves shot is, frankly, provocative.

Finally, Paul Sassone's column whimsically dissects Steve Forbes's expenditures in his run for president -- $25 million would have bought 83,000 air conditioners for elderly shut-ins or 6.25 million spaghetti dinners for poor people, etc. -- without wondering about other people's money spent by others in the same cause.

Wouldn't that money also have bought a lot of spaghetti for hungry people? Makes a person wonder: Why do people run for office anyway? And spend so much money doing it? Let us emulate Sassone and view all that with alarm too, whimsically or otherwise.

Not to be taken lightly . . .

Novelist Harry Mark Petrakis made the point at the county building that Greek nationalism rests side by side with universalism. It was at a celebration of the 175th anniversary of Greek independence from the Turks.

It was a popular cause in its day, with the poet Byron and others climbing aboard -- "When a man hath no freedom to fight for at home, / Let him combat for that of his neighbors; / Let him think of the glories of Greece and of Rome, / And get knocked on the head for his labors."

Democrats were all for the Greeks, groaning under 400 years of the Turkish slipper. The were all for them at the county building too, where Petrakis was honored for his books about Greeks here and abroad -- among them the novel, A Dream of Kings.

Petrakis called the Turkish experience slavery and made the point about throwing off tyranny, but he also quoted Homer -- not Simpson, you lout -- author of not one but two golden oldies, The Iliad and The Odyssey, to the effect that we are all in this together. We all come from the same mother, the earth. The ancient Greeks were citizens of the world and saw themselves that way.

Greek independence was a cause to die for in Byron's day, and Byron did die for it. But it was more than freeing one people from the yoke. It also stood for a concept of common humanity that is unique in world history.

Sights beheld . . .

Don't you like to see a woman marching down the street, arms flailing or pumping in approved blood-circulating manner, intense and intent, getting herself in shape? This is a woman who means business.

Or a family on the Metra, heading west at 8 or so on a week night, lively and focused, enjoying each other. Their Spanish blends nicely with the quiet of a mostly book-and-newspaper-reading carfull. A boy, 6, ohhs and ahhs at every sight. A girl, 15, takes the videocam from her mother, pointing it out at the river as we cross. A lovely older sister, maybe the wife and mother of a young man and a boy, 2, sits next to (probably) an aunt in her 30s. The mother and father (grandparents too?) engage in extended quiet conversation.

A conductor counts tickets and riders, is satisfied, moves on. Later, while passengers debark at Marion Street, he waves at the engineer of a train going the other way, slowly starting up, greeting him by name. Passengers thread their way on the platform narrowed by the two trains. In seconds, it's an empty platform again, on a cold and clear late March night.

Give me that old Wednesday Journal . . .

* Jarringly, the WJ editorialist on 3/27 uses "crap" in reference to what congressional candidate Danny Davis's enemies said about him in the recent campaign. What word does he use the next time, when falsity is even more obvious to him?

* A letter writer inveighs correctly against dog-walkers who don't clean up their dogs' -- now you're talkin' -- crap. I personally see them come forth from that lovely big building at Euclid and Lake, trotting across Lake, dog on leash but no bag in hand. Unless they clean it up barehanded (which I doubt), those people are defecating, I mean desecrating God's green earth. Citizen's arrests are in order.

* In another letter Name Withheld speaks of the high school's "rich do-gooders" who spend other people's money. I'll have to squirrel that one away for further consideration.

* Also, Ken Trainor in his column (a) notes that BRIDGE candidates were treated "shabbily and unfairly" (not crappily?) in last fall's high school board campaign and (b) bemoans the absence of black volunteers in the recent referendum campaign. As for (a) it's a case of Trainor's people losing badly and him indulging in sour grapes. As for (b) he ought to get off black people's backs -- if they choose not to be involved, it's their business, not that of a busybody columnist.

* Finally, letter-writer Greg Saganich voices distrust of "consultant-led public sessions" such as Vision 2000 envisions. He votes and speaks up at meetings but doesn't have "vast amounts of spare time" for focus groups.

Make that two of us. In Oak Park, you know, it's not "Do you know where your children are?" but "Do you know where your parents are?" At Vision 2000?

Question for the ages: What were the odds the new village manager would be bearded?

Question for the next five minutes: Do you want this so-called Blithe Spirit or don't you? The hour cometh when no man or woman receiveth it who does not say he or she wanteth it. Somehow tell me so I remember -- no knocking me down on the street, however. Until further notice, by the way, the two-cent charge is waived. It's your massive outpouring of good will I crave. A lot to crave, but you have to shoot high in this world. Cast your vote in this matter by, say, April 5.