At mass, crying rooms for chatters? The worshiper reported and commented decades ago.

Pre-mass chats. Latin mass? Forget about it. Jerome Kern. Current scene. A solution.

MODEST SUGGESTION . . . . An idea whose time has come, or so said the worshiper. A special room for people who want to chat during mass. Yes, we've had crying rooms for people with babies, he conceded. But now it's time for chat rooms in church! It would be a way of recognizing that some people worship differently from others.

He walked into church one Sunday, and everyone was talking. Mass hadn't started, it was not too big a crowd, it was like walking into a school board meeting before it's called to order. And as in some board meetings, the calling to order did not entirely silence some, who took mass as chat time: it was a family group, with infants in arms, just the kind of people you like to see. But couldn't they be quiet?

PARISH BULLETIN WARNS PEOPLE AWAY FROM ILLEGAL LATIN MASS CHURCH . . . . It's a "chapel," says the bulletin, "that advertises itself as 'Our Lady Immaculate Roman Catholic Church.'" But it's actually not Roman Catholic but is run by the St. Pius X society founded by Archbishop Lefebvre, who was excommunicated, etc. etc.

The bulletin quotes the Pope about the "grave offense" involved in adherence to the Society leading to excommunication. The worshiper is at risk, therefore, by now and then attending the Latin masses at Our Lady Immaculate.

Would the parish consider now and then having a Latin mass, so as to ween him away? For pastoral reasons? A recent special mass for gays and lesbians at a neighboring church was a one-time thing, apparently. Maybe have a one-time thing for Latin mass enthusiasts who make no claims about being born that way but only say they were raised that way?

THE MODERN CHURCH AT PRAYER . . . Warmup for a recent RC funeral mass included an organ-ized rendition of "All the Things You Are" -- lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II. Only the music (by Jerome Kern) was played, however. The words go this way and would have been applicable to the deceased or to Jesus, though that would be a major surprise to Hammerstein:

You are the promised kiss of springtime That makes the lonely winter seem long. You are the breathless hush of evening That trembles on the brink of a lovely song. You are the angel glow - that lights a star. The dearest things I know - are what you are. One day my happy arms will hold you And someday I'll know that moment divine When all the things you are are mine.

Ain’t liturgy grand?

KEEN ANALYSIS . . . Sacramentalism used to be the thing, but in contemporary Catholicism it’s the person. We take our cue from Evangelical Protestantism, where grace (divine help) comes from praying with partners after service and not from the sacrament. Potential partners wait at the end of each service, usually couples. It's ministry up close and personal.

Ritual was the medium in Catholicism, not one’s fellow worshipers. This was a major sticking point of the Reformation, as in whether the sinfulness of the minister affected a sacrament’s value. “Ex opere operato” was a key term, from or because of the thing done, vs. “ex opere operantis,” from or because of the one doing it.

It’s a 500-year-old or older divide. In bald terms, for the sake of argument, does it matter who administers the sacrament (who’s the minister) or does the sacrament carry its own weight? Fall on one side, you have something good anywhere, any time, any place. Fall on the other, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing.

Lacking ritual, you have something here today gone tomorrow or next century. Lacking the personal, you have the unsalable, the unpersuasive. You always depend on people. But with ritual, you have what lasts, what relies less on performance by the minister. Do a good formula right, you’ve got it right.

But Catholic worship has gotten flaccid and informal, compared to 50 years ago. It features priest as performer, even showman, vs. priest as follower of ritual prescribed by the church as millennial institution.

Importance of ignoring what’s up front during mass, 2004 . . . Various ministers are thrust up front by current rules. It’s not their fault. Politeness does not require looking at them, however. So don’t look but mind your own business, reading and meditating on the day's Scripture. There’s so much going on up front, traipsing to and fro with book held high over forehead as if to ward off falling plaster, prior to reading Scripture of the day. It’s not helpful ritual but merely distracting. Then you look up and see priest looking at you. He can’t help it. Reverentially downcast eyes have not been part of his training. But you can help it by not looking.